EMBRACING THE UNKNOWN
Working in a world of design where everything is possible and constantly evolving, gives me a lot of space to create from myself and the opportunity to discover more and more each day. My gift to the world is the yearning to express and offer up my best-self. The most incredible places I have ever experienced were way outside of my comfort zone, difficult places. I may not have enjoyed these experiences at the time, but the learning formed and fashioned who I am today.
I AM LIVING A FULLY UNCONVENTIONAL LIFE
From the outside it just looks like I wake up in the morning and go to bed at night, but in between, I am living a fully unconventional life, and I want to see this as inspiration for others to do the same.
I was born and grew up in Transylvania and my early life was an amazing – a magical time really. I spent most of my time with my grandparents in the beautiful countryside surrounded by everything we might wish for when we’ll finally retire.
My grandmother particularly was a very wise woman, sometimes I look in the mirror and I see her talking back to me, amazing really how we carry on with our own life and sense that those closest to us are still here, talking to us. I know for sure she shaped my soul. I made myself incredibly receptive and I picked up everything I possibly could from the elders in the village. I loved to just sit in the corner and listen to their stories, always sharing pearls of wisdom.
I feel the village and its elders are a huge, part to my personality and the reason I am looking for genuine connection everywhere I go. I grew up in a community where everything was real. The pain, the joy, the anger, the love, whatever we did we did it one hundred percent.
Before I came to London, for a decade I worked as a tour guide – this was a significant time in my life. I became aware of my power and potentials, I was readily able to find an instant connection with almost every person I met. I received a lot of positive energy from many different people.
I vividly remember those nights when I couldn’t sleep because of the level of adrenaline in my body, the amount of excitement from the day was overwhelming. I instinctively knew that I could do anything I wanted that involved people, because I naturally speak the language of the heart. For years I swam in those waters until I experienced huge burnout.
Having no idea what to do next, where to go how to pull through it, I had many, many questions racing around in my head and I was desperately looking for answers. Who am I? Where and how do I go from here?
This lead me to do the boldest thing, I shaved off my wonderful hair so that I had nowhere to hide. I had to plunge very deep down to come up with something beautiful, because that was all I had to help me look less scary. This was a huge turning point in my life.
Walking down the high street with no hair in the town where I knew everyone by name was the scariest thing. With a few years hindsight, now I say this was the most beautiful gift I have ever given myself. I was able to be with people from a very different perspective and their perspective changed as well!
I felt like I was walking publicly naked whilst everyone else was wrapped in a warm, comforting blanket. Beyond the fear and shame, I felt inexplicable freedom. I was out there, and free – this is the best place to be. I begun to become aware of my impact after this event and I started to learn how to use it for the better.
My hair grew back but the learning stayed. The more comfortable I am being with the discomfort of my situation, the more I am able to integrate new learnings. In similar situations, I am always asking myself where and how am I trying to look good?
Outside beauty comes and goes, but you rely on the treasures you acquire during the years. Later you may even call them wisdom and there is nothing quite like experience, learning is the gold.
When I fell into this fast-lane life I had to make a conscious effort not to lose myself.
I was up for a challenge when I came to London, I left behind everything I had ever known to start a new career and I found a lot of noise and disturbance in the beginning. The noise made by people who just talk but never listen.
When I fell into this fast-lane life I had to make a concerted, conscious effort not to lose myself. I found it all so overwhelming and I just shut myself down for a while, that is until I worked out how I could contribute with the tools I have. My motivation has always been the determination to grow, and my trust in the fact that I can do it.
This is enough for me to feel safe and confident, assured that I can achieve everything I want to. I don’t push for everything, but when the right wave comes in, I am ready and aware and at my best to receive it.
I found these 2 small stones on the beach in Tel Aviv, walking with my dear friend earlier this year. I think I wanted something that would remind me of that very special moment. It turned out that these two stones can be joined and fit together to look as if one is holding the other.
I think this is a metaphor for that which I seek everywhere I go – people I can hold and people who can equally hold me. Those who trust as much as I do, those who are solid as a rock and have experienced life’s challenges, have been shaped and formed through its lessons.
We can tell perpetual stories to ourselves about why something is not possible about what we think is the right or the wrong way to approach a challenge, but where the ego takes the lead, the heart always loses.
At the end of the day, our soul is speaking our truth and if we are not listening, we’ll miss the train. That train carries the life experiences we need and it’s opportunities only come once! The track it travels on may seem unconventional, beyond what you might call “normal”, but this track is your track and it is your way.
My advice to anyone would be: pay attention and be ready when that train arrives, don’t be afraid of unconventional ways, jump onboard for a rich and far more fulfilling life. Embrace the unknown and choose exploration, what could be more exciting than that?
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